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BlueDragon
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
876 Posts |
 Posted - 17/08/2012 : 09:49:56
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Another random thread I suppose, but I'm actually quite upset.
I joined a certain bike forum to try and answer my dificult problem I have with getting hold of a bike. I stupidly thought it might be a good idea. It's taken me weeks to pluck up the courage to join... it's a scary thing for me with my phobia. It's hard enough to talk to people to start with without things being made worse.
I explained my situation, which included the fact that I live off benefits due to my phobia and 'cause I have M.E.
I got a quite unpleasant comment stating that I shouldn't be able to have 'luxuries' anyway 'cause I live off benefits and I'm not entitled.
I ingored it, or tryed to. Although it did upset me.
Since then I've had more comments along the same lines. If I can go out walking why can't I get a job? If I can go out at all why can't I get a job? I can walk for six hours a day but I can't get a job? That sort of thing.
Now, I'm not expecting people to understand my condition or to understand what it means. Especially Anthropophobia. But M.E. is easily looked up on the internet, and you would quickly learn how complex an illness it is. I'm lucky (I suppose) to be classed as medium. Some people with sevier M.E. live in hospital 'cause they can't do a single thing themselves...
I'm just so upset that people are being so negitive towards me, almost attacking me. It seems like that anyway. Judging me to be some horrable scrounging little sh**... it's not nice and I don't think it's fair. They don;t know me and haven't even asked anything about me.
Has anyone on here had simmilar experiences? How do you cope with it/deal with it? There are nice people who have come on and tryed to help me, but it's spoilt by the other not-so-nice people there. They all seemed really friendly before I joined, so it's like they're just all after me...
How do you deal with such things? Do I ingnore them and just carry on with the nicer people or do I leave the forum?
I think it's only polite to thank those who have helped me so far, and I would do that before leaving anyway. |
Just me and my zoo. |
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chrisc
Old Royal - I Post too much!
United Kingdom
3326 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 10:13:02
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sounds like RFUK people with nothing better to do but slate other people basically **** them an just try to ignore these simple minded idiots.
i dont know much about M.E but know it can be very dibilitating( think thats the worng word).
theres a big difference between people that cant work and those layabouts that choose not to.
if you can PM the friendly people that replyed then im sure they would be able to help/give you some advice |
1.0.0 burmese python,giblet. 1.0.0 BCI, william. 0.1.0 blue tongue skink, 0.1.0 green iguana, jasmin, 1.0.0 cape house snake, 0.1.0 checkered garter snake
my youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/pegrocks
incubate 2 campaign
https://www.facebook.com/incubate2 |
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badwool
Sub Adult
658 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 11:11:34
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| I'm somewhat of a bike fanatic - pm me and I will try and answer your problem |
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BlueDragon
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
876 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 11:19:25
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Never thought to PM them. Might be a better idea. Right now I'm not fancying posting and feel like just curling up in a corner.
It's not like I don't do anything. I do what I can. I've helped with community art projects, we do at least one a year. I've helped with the community garden and planting. I was asked to start working with teenagers with behaviour problems a few years ago, so I teach art and do crafting with them... make a big mess : )
I'm just not as good at it as normal people are.
Thank you chrisc. I might try PMing them some time. |
Just me and my zoo. |
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BlueDragon
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
876 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 11:21:18
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Thank you badwool: ) Sorry, missed your post there.
That would be helpful.
Does the PM work here? Never tryed it before. Otherwise I can put my email up instead? |
Just me and my zoo. |
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chrisc
Old Royal - I Post too much!
United Kingdom
3326 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 13:54:32
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| the pm thing on here doesnt work but if one of you puts your email on your profile then your email can only be seen buy forum members |
1.0.0 burmese python,giblet. 1.0.0 BCI, william. 0.1.0 blue tongue skink, 0.1.0 green iguana, jasmin, 1.0.0 cape house snake, 0.1.0 checkered garter snake
my youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/pegrocks
incubate 2 campaign
https://www.facebook.com/incubate2 |
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badwool
Sub Adult
658 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 15:20:25
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think ive already done so
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acd1984
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
687 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 18:14:39
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sounds like your too honest for your own good imo
haters will always hate, especially when they can hide behind a made up name.
dont worry about it. especially dont let it get under your skin although i appreciate thats easier said than dont |
1.0.0 Lesser - Helios
2.0.0 Normal - George & Kairo
1.0.0 Mojave - Bolt
0.1.0 Mojave - Roxi
1.0.0 Leopard Gecko - Leo
0.0.1 Crocodile gecko - Pheonix
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Lotabob
Royal Python Moderator
United Kingdom
5008 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 20:22:01
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There will always be simple minded keyboard warriors out to get a reaction out of someone, they aren't attacking you, they are out to attack anyone, newbies are just easier targets.
I don't understand M.E I will freely admit that but I know a lot about social phobia, its been a personal hell of mine for as long as I can remember so know exactly how it can effect you and how sometimes as odd as it can sound going out and exercising can be a release from it providing its not likely to result in any interaction with anyone. I'm beating my social phobia, one panic attack at a time lol, so dont be made to feel bad about it, there are LOTS of us out there going through something similar and it is nothing to be ashamed of or upset over, makes us who we are.
There will always be trolls on forums, not necessarily this one, seemingly this is a troll free zone, no bridges for them to hide under or something. |
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IncurableFlirt
Yearling
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 17/08/2012 : 21:16:13
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As a sufferer of FMS, Diabetes, Hypertension and two pinched spinal nerves w/bulging disks, I can completely understand how you feel. In fact, it hasn't been until just recently that the medical field has accepted (and are looking for treatments) of syndromes/diseases like we have. I can't even begin to tell you how many doctors I saw in my earlier days of diagnosis, many of whom made me feel like I was some lazy so-and-so and didn't believe for a second that my pain was real. I've never been one to share much of my personal life online....and all for the same reasons why you are having so much trouble. People who don't understand or don't suffer from these debilitating problems really do believe that it is all in our minds and that we are just lazy people. I wish they had to live just one day in our shoes, because then they might not be so quick to judge people without knowing what their pathway in life has been like and where it has led them.
Truly, I think you would be much happier if you would shrug off the negative and ignore people who don't help you out in a positive way. Avoid telling others about your personal life online, unless you can do that, because you are always going to have someone who thinks less of you. Think of it like this: It isn't your business to worry about what others think of you. If they can't be helpful/friendly, then they deserve the negative karma that they are calling their way. ;) So pick your chin up, puff out your chest and say: Hey...I'm a great person, and though I've been given a crappy hand...I am going to make the best out of it and go out all Kamikaze! :D |
Jenn.
11.8 Ball pythons
1.0 BCI boa
1.0 Brazilian Rainbow boa |
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BlueDragon
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
876 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 09:17:12
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Thank you peoples : )
I can't say I feel much better about it right now, but it helps to know that not everyone feels the same as they do. And that I'm not alone in getting the sh** end of the stick sometimes.
There must be so many people out there who hate people like us who can't even help how we are. And weather it's my phobia or not, that's a really scary thought.
I wouldn't normally go bleating about the way I am, but I was just trying to explain things so that people understood that I couldn't just go out and earn more money, or borrow it or whatever other people do. But it's not like I keep the way I am a secret either. I might not be open about it just like that, but I wouldn't deny it.
Of course I realize now that I shouldn't have bothered. I just asked for help, that's all, and that's what I get.
I've never had such a reaction : /
At the minuet I'm thinking that one day they may well land face first where I am now. It can happen to anyone. My mam was a hard working nurse who worked day and night shifts, cleaning people, changing beds, giving medicines, looking after everyone and keeping them company etc all day or all night. And she had me to look after. She'd come home after work and start cleaning the whole house. I'm not joking, from top to bottom! Then she'd come pick me up from my Grandma's house, take me home and maybe we'd make cakes or cookies. She'd make my tea and give me a bath and put me to bed. And then to top it all off sometimes she'd be out to work again for a few hours after all that.
Now she's poorly too. She has underthyroid, high blood pressure, a dodgy heart, a bad back due to ripping her lower liggaments on the job while trying to lift someone. A few others. She never thought she'd get ill, she thought she could go on forever. She was hard working and genuinely cared for people and didn't deserve to get ill.
Maybe one day these people will understand what it's like to get sick, and maybe they'll understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of all this unpleasantness.
I'm not going back to the forum for now. Don't want to. I will do some time, even just to thank those who did try and help me before being drowned out by the others. After that I'll leave.
If I say that I hope they get what's coming to them would that make me as bad as them?
It's nice to know that I'm not alone. It can easily feel that way. I don't have friends and don't get out very often. If I do get out I'm on my own. Sometimes it feel like you're invisable to people, like they don't see you, or just don't care.
Then you get people who feel sorry for you and in a way that's even worse.
But never mind all that... balls to them!
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Just me and my zoo. |
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chrisc
Old Royal - I Post too much!
United Kingdom
3326 Posts |
Posted - 18/08/2012 : 10:48:50
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yes i fuly agree balls to them.
your mum sounds awesome such a shame shes become ill after spending all her time helping out other people.
no you definatly not alone in getting the s*** end of the stick, i was born with my leg twisted round my neck and my foot was basically a bag of bones so spent a very large amount of my childhood i hospital having corrective surgery which i still need to have done now and then as things wear out ect.
i also suffer from depression which took me years to acctually admit to anyone that i was suffering from it |
1.0.0 burmese python,giblet. 1.0.0 BCI, william. 0.1.0 blue tongue skink, 0.1.0 green iguana, jasmin, 1.0.0 cape house snake, 0.1.0 checkered garter snake
my youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/pegrocks
incubate 2 campaign
https://www.facebook.com/incubate2 |
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frambo
Yearling
United Kingdom
228 Posts |
Posted - 19/08/2012 : 15:13:19
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I'm also a bike fanatic and know that many people on bike forums often have quite an attitude. I think my e-mails in my profile, sorry got to rush out now but if not I'll send it to you when I'm back.
Cheers |
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0.1.0 Royal Python
1.0.0 Rhodesian Ridgeback
0.1.4Terrapin
0.0.3 Koi Carp |
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BlueDragon
Sub Adult
United Kingdom
876 Posts |
Posted - 20/08/2012 : 09:52:27
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Sorry I haven't replied again. I will get in touch with you both, badwool and frambo. Thank you for offering to help me out : )
Haven't replied on the forum again. I've got a bad cold and I've lost my voice and I can't be ar**d with it right now anyway.
On a lighter note there have been some more nice comments answering me. People actually trying to help instead of putting me down. Quite fankly I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself and practice it often, so why they feel they need to top it up...
Still no luck though, finding a bike.
Seriously, it can't be this hard : / |
Just me and my zoo. |
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How do you do it?
